10 days until we leave!!!!

In another 10 days, we will be leaving to go to Guatemala again! We are so excited to be going to visit Lili and to get to spend some more time in Guatemala. Moses and Max haven't been to see Lili since early March, so this will be a big visit for them. She's changing so much.... getting bigger physically, talking (actually more like squealing), eating solid food, playing with toys, trying to move herself around much more, sleeping the night through in the crib, and just generally interacting much more. She's developing a little girl personality, rather than just a new baby personality.

We talked to our foster family last night and were able to see Lili on the web camera. I was so excited to realize that, for the first time, Lili really seemed to recognize our voices! We would talk to her over the computer (just like if you're talking on a phone line), and she would be in front of the camera just looking around as if to say "Hey, where are you guys?" It was so cute and heartwarming. We've been making a lot of sacrifices and trying not to worry too much about where the money will come from to pay for all of the expenses related to the adoption and the travel. This was affirmation that we are making the right choice to spend the money and visit.... we obviously get so much out of it ourselves, but more importantly, Lili appears to be getting something out of it and recognizes us.

I talked to one of my bosses at work today and she very logically and reasonably discussed the benefits of us holding some sort of fundraiser for the adoption. She is a huge advocate of worthy causes, and she believes people would be willing to help financially to bring our precious little girl home to a wonderful home and family. Moses and I have discussed it briefly and think it's not a bad idea, especially considering how wonderfully supportive all of our family, friends and acquaintances are about this process. I've got to start thinking about our options and really get in gear with planning an gathering of some sort.... maybe a party with a lot of donated items to auction off, or a dinner with a band..... who knows, we'll have to start hitting up some of our talented and creative friends and family for help with this project!!!!! Stay posted for more news and be prepared.... we may be calling on each of you for your help!!!

One last note.... Lili had her 5-month birthday over the weekend (on 5/5). Her loving foster family took her and the other kids to a lake that's about 1.5 hours away for a celebration. They were able to take her horseback riding, for a ride in a cable car up into the mountains, and on a boat ride of the lake (among other things). They sent us some ADORABLE pictures where Lili just looks SO BIG.... so I thought I'd share! Enjoy!!!!

One more step forward!

We got great news.... the social worker and the judge for the Guatemalan Family Court approved our file on April 9! So we're one step closer to bringing Lili home! We are still waiting for Preapproval to be issued by the US Embassy, then our file can be submitted to PGN (the Guatemalan equivalent of the Attorney General's office). PGN can take anywhere from 2 weeks to 5 months to get approval!! Let's pray that we get through on the fast end....

After PGN approval is issued, there will only be formalities that need to be completed in Guatemala. Passport issuance, Embassy Doctor's visit, issuance of a new birth certificate, and scheduling of a Visa appointment with the Embassy. At the time that the appointment is scheduled, we will travel to pickup Lili and bring her home!!! We are getting close, although we still don't have any committed timeframe for the rest of the process. It seems as though most of these steps are inconsistent and random.... we've been right in the average timeframe for most of the steps, although a couple of things have taken longer than normal. Let's hope that we're blessed by a few steps that move more quickly than most!!!

Keep us in your prayers!!!

Catching Up

I've been so bad about posting, but things have been busy and my mind has been elsewhere. Moses is busy with a system conversion at work and is working long hours. Last week I spent trying to catch up on chores, errands and sleep after returning from my visit with my mom and Lili!!!!

We only spent 4 days with Lili this time, just my mom and I this time, but we had a great time! I've never had a chance to travel alone with my mom, so this was a first. Add to that the fact that we were going to a Spanish speaking area without Moses and I was a little nervous. We did very well.... communicated with no major issues, loved on Lili like crazy, spent a day in Antigua, hung out with our foster family and just enjoyed the getaway. Mom was very intrigued by the cultural differences and really enjoyed spending time with our foster family. Of course, the trip to Antigua was a good opportunity to show her some of the culture and beauty of the country. And, most importantly, she LOVED spending time with Lili. It's hard to believe Lili has gotten so big - she'll be 5 months old on 5/5! She's such a happy and easy going baby, and she is growing up quickly. She's chattering a lot, smiling and eating some table food! We had a rule while we were there that she couldn't leave the room more than once in the same outfit! In four days, she probably changed her clothes 15 times!!! She's sleeping through the night in a crib and barely cries! What a DOLL!

We had a great visit, but of course I could move down there and be happy staying with her until she's ready to come home. And Moses and Max didn't get to see her this trip, so we've planned another family trip for later this month! We're going for 8 days, part of the time we'll spend in Guatemala City and the other part in Antigua. We're excited to spend a few days in Antigua as it is more tourist friendly and safe and we'll be able to walk around more freely. Also, there's a great little cafe that we found that has ICED COFFEE in Antigua!!! One day, from Antigua, we may take a shuttle to Chichicastenango. This is about 3 hours from Antigua, but it's the site of one of the largest handicraft markets in Central America! Max probably won't enjoy it very much, but hopefully he can enjoy being outside if nothing else!

OK, so no other news regarding our case. We're still waiting to get word of Family Court approval as well as US Embassy preapproval. Once we have both of these steps completed, our file can be submitted to the last "legal" check in PGN (the Guatemalan equivalent of the Attorney General's office). We're saying our prayers that we'll make it through everything in time to bring Lili home by my birthday in August. If you have a spare minute and can say a prayer for us, we'd really appreciate it!

Thanks to everyone for your interest in our journey and your support! We're thrilled to be sharing this experience with all of our friends and family!!!!! And we can't wait until you can all meet Lili!

I'm SO Excited!!! (But kinda sad, too!)

In 24 hours, I'll have Lili in my arms. Or should I say my mom and I will be fighting over who has her in their arms?! We leave tonight from our house around midnight, the flight leaves Ohare at 3:15am, and we get into Guatemala at 6:30am local time. I didn't sleep well last night because I was so excited and my mind was racing thinking about the stuff I still need to pack, etc. We're pretty much packed, although the pack 'n play and stroller situation still have not been resolved. I'm trying to take down lots of baby supplies that our foster family could use, including a bouncy seat, boppy pillow, activity gym, stroller, pack 'n play, and clothes, toys and bottles. We've fit almost everything into existing luggage, but can't figure out how to transport the pack'n play or stroller. We thought a travelling golf bag would work, but it's 3 inches larger than allowed by the airlines. So, we're scrambling to figure something out. If we can't fit them into a "bag", I'll have to buy new ones when we get to Guatemala.

As excited as I am, I'm really kind of sad about leaving Moses and Max. Max is very upset about the fact that he's not going with us. We've told him what's going on, but have tried not to mention it over the last couple of days since it just causes a meltdown. Additionally, I'm feeling guilty about Moses not being able to go. He swears that he's happy I'm going to see Lili, and that my mom is able to go with. I know he means it, but I still feel badly that he can't see Lili and that he's gonna have his hands full taking care of Max while I'm gone. A small consolation is that we are trying to plan another trip to visit Lili in May (again, just myself, Moses and Max). I'm hopeful that will be our last trip before we pick her up to come home!

So, I may not be able to check in from Guatemala.... but please say some prayers that mom and I have a safe trip, a nice visit with Lili and that Moses and Max do well with their boys' weekend!

It's a MATCH!

I've been so busy at work and home that I haven't posted much. We received news on Monday in the mail.... the results for the DNA test came and it was a MATCH! Basically, there's a requirement of the US Embassy that DNA samples be taken from the baby and the birth mother to prove maternity. If for any reason the DNA does not prove maternity, then the child cannot be placed for adoption (unless the true biological mother is found). So, this is a huge hurdle to cross! We were thrilled to get the results and to be past the thought of "what if". Now we're pretty much only thinking of "WHEN"!

So, other than craziness at work for both Moses and I, we've had some transition with our adoption agency in Indiana. We found out Wednesday evening that our coordinator, Kristi, is no longer working for the agency. Thursday morning, I called and spoke with the Director of the Guatemala program and told him that, being this is our 3rd loss of a coordinator and we are going to be assigned to our 4th coordinator, I preferred that we were assigned either to his caseload, or to the Senior Coordinator's caseload. He readily agreed, and we found out this morning that we will be working with Diana, the Senior Coordinator for Guatemala. I've already spoken with her today.... and it's a GREAT FIT! I was excited even before talking with her because our good friends Misty and Chris have been working with Diana for their adoption and they love her. They've been raving about her from the time we met them, but since we were happy with Kristi, there was no real reason that we had to interact with Diana. Now that Kristi's left, it gives me a sense of peace to think back on all the wonderful things that Misty has said about Diana and to realize that she will be walking with us through the rest of our journey to bring Lili home. I think this process is certainly made more bearable by the people that you are surrounded with during the journey, and I couldn't be happier that we will be able to work closely with Diana for the remainder of our adoption.

I've been getting ready for my trip with my Mom to go visit Lili. We leave two weeks from today on 4/19 at 3:00am. We'll be with Lili from Thursday morning through Sunday evening, and I couldn't be more excited about introducing my mom to her granddaughter. I think the only person possibly more excited than me is MY MOM! Between the two of us, we probably have 30 outfits for Lili plus a lot of toys. Of course, they're not just for the 4 days we're there... we plan to leave most of them with the foster family for Lili to wear daily. We're also taking down a stroller, a bouncy seat, and some other baby supplies (boppy, bottles, etc). That's the nice thing about travelling so often... we don't need to worry about how we're going to ship things down to Lili and her foster family... we're able to deliver them ourselves. Of course, the flight/travel expenses are a little more costly than just shipping a package, but I can't seem to pass up an opportunity to see Lili as often as possible!!!!

We're getting ready to go our for pizza. Daddy is staying home with Max tomorrow (daycare is closed for Good Friday), so they're going to come up to my office and take me to lunch. That'll make for a great start to the weekend! Take care, and if I don't post before then, have a GREAT EASTER!!!

DNA & Birthmother Interview Confirmed!!!

We got confirmation on Wednesday night that the DNA test and the birthmother interview both took place on 3/22 (last Thursday). They were originally scheduled for 3/19, but there must have been some conflict that caused them to reschedule, but the great news is that it's DONE! Now, we just have to wait 2-3 weeks to get the results of the DNA test in the mail! Then, the US Embassy can issue Pre-Approval in preparation for entering PGN (the legal part of this process). Also, before we can get into PGN, the social worker who interviewed our birth mother will need to complete her write up and get a judge in the Family Court to approve our file. Once we have the Family Court approval and the Pre-Approval from the US Embassy, our file will be submitted to the attorneys in PGN!!!!!!

It's so nice to be making progress and getting closer to bringing Lili home. Still no real firm idea of when she'll be home.... so keep praying that it's soon!

Mommy & Grandma's TRIP!!!

Well, we're still waiting for news from our agency about the DNA test and birthmother interview that were scheduled for last week. I'm hopeful that we'll get an update today. I've been really anxious about Lili's birthmother seeing her and maybe changing her mind. My coordinator, Kristi, has reassured me that if anything like that happens they would call us right away.

So, our other big news is that my mom, Lois, and I are planning a VISIT TRIP!!!! My parents had been talking about going on a tour in Guatemala (with us, if possible) and then coordinating with one of our trips so that they could meet Lili. Unfortunately, with my Dad's surgery on his arm, and with the fact that our kids are really too small for a long tour, we've decided to wait and take a bigger tour when the kids are a little older. So, in the meantime, Grandma is SOOOOO excited to get to meet Lili and has decided she just can't wait! Grandpa was going to go along with us, but he's not real keen on the idea of sitting in the hotel room staring at our little Lili! He's a much more active kind of guy and likes to be able to at least play with the kids!! So, Grandma and I have scheduled a long weekend in April to go for a girls weekend, 3 generation visit!!! We are SO excited, and have been talking every day to coordinate and plan the details. Good thing Moses, Max and I have already made a couple of trips and know what we need to pack for a visit trip.... I think with everything that we take for Lili, it's important that we only take the basics for the adults!

I'm excited for my mom to meet Lili... and for us to spend the weekend together. I'll definitely miss Moses and Max... this is the first that I've been away from Max for more than just an overnight. Still haven't quite decided what we'll tell Max about my trip... we may have to tell him that Mommy and Grandma are just going away for the weekend and not tell him about Guatemala. Then again, maybe I'll just tell him that Mommy has to take Grandma to Guatemala, and Daddy needs someone to take care of him so Max has to stay home!!!

Feeling GUILTY!

I'm feeling very guilty about not posting very often, but things have been pretty busy. My parents were in town last weekend for a visit, Moses was out of town on Monday, sick on Tuesday, and now out of town again today and tomorrow. I really can't wait for the weekend so that we can spend some time relaxing!

So, I still need to post some updates about our last visit trip in early March... I promise I haven't forgotten! I just need to make sure I find enough time to dedicate to the task. Speaking of visits, I looked online this morning and flights are ON SALE again! Woohoo! Looks like I'll be seeing my baby girl again sometime in the next 4-6 weeks! Moses probably won't be able to go because of work, so I'll either plan a short trip for myself or maybe talk my Mom into going with me and taking Max along. We'll see!

Adoption news has been quiet this week. We were scheduled for DNA test and birth mother interview on Monday. We hope to find out early next week if this occurred, or if there was a conflict for the birth mother and they had to reschedule. I was reassured by Kristi, our coordinator, that if there's BAD news, we should hear something right away. Otherwise, no news is either no news or good news.

We've been able to talk with our foster family a couple of times this week, and see Lili on the webcam as well. Last night she was VERY active when we were trying to see her live. She wouldn't stay still, so they had to keep moving the webcam to try to capture her in action! Although Moses will be out of town tonight, I may try to get a look at her again via the webcam. I can say enough in Spanish to get by with the foster family, and I really don't need to talk too much if I'm just trying to get a look at my baby girl!

I promise, I'll try to post soon about our last trip. And, I'll be sure to post any good news updates that we receive! Keep us in your prayers for quick progress... it's getting warmer and I'm just DYING to get our beautiful girl home!!!!!!

A BIG Day.... Please say some prayers

Well, today's got my stomach in knots. I'm sitting here staring at my cup of coffee wondering if I'll be able to drink it, or if it will just make me feel worse. Today is one of the biggest days in our adoption process.... it's the day of the DNA test and the social worker's interview with Lili's birth mother. And, forgetting the steps of this process for a moment, it's the last time Lili's birth mother will see her or hold her.

I'm having a hard time keeping my emotions and worries under control. I'm obviously worried about the fact that the birth mother will want Lili back after she sees her. We spoke with our foster family over the weekend, and they promised to skip her bath this morning and make sure she's wearing something kind of ugly so that she doesn't look as cute as normal! I'm also nervous about getting the DNA results. The norm is that 2-3 weeks after the test, we will receive a copy of the results in the mail. We don't anticipate any issues, but there's always a chance that the woman who relinquished Lili to the attorney is not her birth mother. If this is the case, and the DNA does not match, then we would not be able to proceed with the adoption (unless the true birth mother were found). Obviously, this is a big deal and we are holding our breath just waiting for this part to be over.

Above and beyond all of these worries, though, are my emotions. I am feeling overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions. For Lili and for her birth mother, as well as for us. I am SO grateful to the birth mother for her selfless gift.... for her willingness to put Lili's needs above all else. I am unable to imagine how she must be feeling about this entire process, and especially hope that she can find peace with her decision when she sees and holds Lili for the last time today. As desperate as we are to have Lili home with us, I wonder what her birth mother is feeling and thinking about everything? I wonder if my prayers for her peace and strength are matched by her prayers for Lili's future. I will most likely never be in a position to personally thank her for our beautiful daughter.... so instead, I will make sure that we give Lili every opportunity in the world and that we give her the best life possible... filled with love. One other gift that I CAN give to Lili's birth mother is our prayers. If you believe in the power of prayer, and would be willing, please say a special prayer for Lili's birth mother... that she can find the strength to get through today and that she can find peace in her decision. And that she has the knowledge in her heart that Lili will have a wonderful life filled with love.

We're Home - AND We Got GREAT News!

Well, I've been negligent in updating the blog (thanks to Teresa for pointing this out!) We had a wonderful visit trip with Lili (and with the foster family). We got home from the trip early Saturday morning (around 3 am), and spent most of the day Saturday and Sunday resting up, doing laundry and unpacking. Monday was a pretty rough day for us, as I was down about receiving no new updates on our case for 6 weeks! We both talked to Kristi, our coordinator at the agency, and she was honest with us about the fact that she had no news. BUT... someone must have recognized how down we were, because she called us early Tuesday morning with GREAT news of progress! Our file was entered into Family Court in Guatemala on 3/1, and the attorney has scheduled our birthmother's interview and DNA testing for Monday 3/19!!!! This is awesome!!! Doesn't really do much to tell us when we can bring Lili home, but it's a HUGE step forward and something to be celebrated! We took Max out to dinner last night, although we didn't really explain why.... until it's time to bring Lili home, he really can't comprehend the baby-steps that we are moving forward in this process!

I've got to cut this message short, but I will post more details about our 2nd visit trip soon!

Krista

36 hours and counting!

Well, we're 36 hours away from holding our little Lili! We're scheduled to leave our house tomorrow night at 11:00pm, and we fly out of O'Hare at 2:30 am. We get to Guatemala City at 6:30 am, and the hotel shuttle will pick us up and take us to the hotel. With any luck, they'll have a room ready for us like they did last time. Then, at 10:00 am, our foster family will bring Lili to us at the hotel! We are SO excited!

We've been rather anxious about the visit trip, especially with the drama this week surrounding my health. I've been home all week trying to pass this darn stone... no luck so far. When I started out, it was in my ureter causing kidney blockage (NOT GOOD!) I visited a nephrologist (renal specialist) yesterday. He ended up sending me back to the ER last night, where we discovered it's moved into my bladder and should be passing sometime soon(?) I'm still having pain, although it's not quite as bad as when it was ripping through my kidney and ureters!!! And thanks to my doctor, I've got clearance to take as many pain meds as I need to enable me to leave for Guatemala as scheduled!!!!!! Thank GOD!!!!

So, I'm feeling sleepy from my pain meds, so I'm gonna sign off. Say some prayers for us that our flight goes smooth and that we have a wonderful uneventful week with Lili. And say an extra prayer that I pass this darn kidney stone!!!

Out of Commission!!!

Well, the sick germs have been visiting our house. Moses had the flu for most of the weekend, and I've been fighting off a bad cold. We're doing everything we can to get better before we leave for Guatemala late Friday night!! We both stayed home yesterday to rest, pop vitamins, drink plenty of orange juice and try to recuperate. Little did we know that sleep was not in the cards for us late last night.... around 6:00pm, I started having pain on my left side. Dismissed it as it subsided by about 7:30 or 8:00. Took my cold pills at 10:00 and hit the sack... by midnight, I was awakened by severe pain. I tried to take a hot bath to see if the pain would subside, but no success. Called the answering service for my doctor and was advised to go to the Emergency Room. As it was 1:00 in the morning, I didn't want all of us to spend a couple of hours at the hospital just sitting and waiting. I decided to drive myself and let Moses stay home with Max. By the time I got to the hospital, the pain was excruciating. Once I was finally in a room and they gave me some pain medication, I was feeling sleepy and calmed. A CT scan confirmed our suspicions.... KIDNEY STONES! This is the second time I've had kidney stones, and probably won't be the last. I have yet to pass the one that's causing problems right now... and I have many more in both kidneys. I have my Dad to thank for this... he has chronic kidney stones (honestly, he's probably had a total of 200+ kidney stones either passed or removed). I'm all doped up on pain meds right now, so I'm pretty much laying around waiting until the meds start to wear off and I can take the next ones. Tomorrow, I'll go to see a Nephrologist about what can be done to pass this stone (before we leave for Guatemala), as well as preventing future occurrences. I must say, the pain is definitely something I don't want to go through again, but I don't look forward to the potential that I'll have to eliminate CHOCOLATE from my diet to prevent future stones!!!!

So, other than our health issues, things are going well. No progress on the adoption (at least none that we are aware of). We are pretty much packed and ready to leave this weekend for another week with Lili. We've also been blessed with our recent ability to communicate with our foster family via the internet and the web camera. We've received three emails this week with photos of Lili, and we've talked live on instant messenger and watched Lili on the webcamera a couple of times as well! I'm attaching a couple of pictures of Lili that we've received.... she's getting so big!

Hanging in there!

Well, we've had a busy week so I haven't been able to post before now. Work has been hectic and by the time I get home and do all of my "chores", I'm exhausted! On top of that, we've been saying our prayers and religiously keeping an eye on the computer to see if our foster family gets their internet hooked up and running! It appears they have the internet hooked up, have downloaded instant messenger, and possibly have the webcam working. They've sent a few emails this week, which has been great! We actually got a couple of pictures... Josselin, the oldest daughter, just celebrated her quincenera (it's like our version of a sweet sixteen, but they celebrate for the fifteenth birthday). I'm attaching the one picture of Josselin in her gown with Lili, and another of Ligia (foster mom), Josselin, Jessica and Susana (three foster daughters), and some of Ligia's aunts with Lili.

Also, we got our updated pictures of Lili today from our agency (I've posted a couple in the column to the right!)! They send one of the coordinators in Guatemala to each of the foster homes once per month to take photos of the babies so that they can send them to the adoptive families. Also, the doctor visits the families once a month to take updated measurements... as of 2/7, Lili weighed in at 9 pounds! It's funny... Max weighed 8 pounds 7 ounces at birth, and Lili barely weighs that much at 2 months old! No wonder she seems so tiny!

We're preparing for our next visit trip to Guatemala... leave Chicago on Saturday 3/3, return on Friday 3/9. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited to hold Lili and see how much she's changed! I'm sure it'll be just as awful leaving her as it was on our first trip, but it's worth it to be able to see her and bond with her. Also, it's wonderful getting to know the foster family and having the chance to explore Lili's birthplace!

Last Day of our first visit trip (1/19)

Well, the last day of our visit trip was one of the most dreadful days of my life. We spent a lot of the night awake... just holding and staring at Lili. We were really having a rough time holding our emotions in, but felt that we really needed to be strong for Max. We had begun to prepare him for the fact that it was the day that we had to head home to Chicago. He was SOOOO sad. He begged us to let him take Lili home. We tried to explain the best we could that we could not take her with us... that she wasn't "ready" to go yet and that we had to leave her with Ligia & Angel and their girls.

We had made plans with Ligia to have lunch at 2:00 and spend some time together before we gave Lili back. As the morning progressed, we realized that we were not going to be able to eat. We were just too sad. Moses finally went to the lobby to use a phone to call Ligia... she was so wonderfully compassionate and understanding. She had anticipated how sad and miserable we would be, and told us that she would do whatever we were most comfortable with. Moses asked her to still come by at 2:00, but that we would just spend some time together in the lobby of the hotel.

We checked out of our room and had our luggage locked up in the storage room. We were waiting in the lobby of the hotel when Ligia arrived with her three daughters. They were very excited to see Lili, but were also compassionate about what we were going through. Ligia told us that she could only imagine how sad we were... and that she knew her family would be that sad when it was time for us to pickup Lili and bring her home permanently. Max was a wreck... he was crying, sobbing, and clinging to me. My heart was broken not only because we were leaving Lili, but also because I couldn't do anything for Max. Moses realized very quickly that Max and I were just falling apart... he decided that we were just postponing the inevitable, so he made the decision to speed up our goodbyes. Instead of visiting with the foster family for a couple of hours, we spent maybe 20 minutes together before we said goodbye. Moses apologized to me later, but I was well aware that he had made the best decision for all of us.

We tried to comfort and distract Max from his sadness... we walked to the mall and got him an ice cream cone at McDonald's and let him play in the play area. Finally, around 4:00, the hotel shuttle drove us to the airport to wait for our flight. We had several long hours of waiting at the airport... yuck! The Guatemala City airport has 8 gates... it's very small, and there's not much to keep a 4-year old busy during a 4 hour wait!! We went through a couple of the small shops that were in the airport, and ordered a couple of sandwiches to eat before we left. There was basically one place to get something to eat... for the first time since we'd been in Guatemala, we were also able to get an iced coffee! Everywhere we went in Guate, we asked if they had iced coffee... and they looked at us like we had two heads! So, we had our coffee and shared a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. We ordered Max a "French Dog".... thought it would be a regular hot dog. Instead, it was this huge sub bun that was grilled like a panini. The hot dog was cut in half long ways so that it laid flat... and, of all combinations, they put mayo, mustard and avocado on the hot dog!!! Moses had to pick off most of the avocado and mayo before Max would eat it... but it gave us a good laugh!

We finally were able to board the plane, although we had to split up our seats a little bit. It was a very full flight, and Max and I were sitting in the aisle and middle seat on one side, with Moses across the aisle in the next seat. Max finally fell asleep after takeoff, although he did wake up a couple of times crying for Lili. Moses and I didn't sleep much, as we were still trying to process the emotions of the day. We arrived in Chicago at 12:30 am and had to wait quite a while to get through immigration and customs. Finally, we got outside (in the freezing cold with no coats!), found Uncle Mike and the van, and loaded up to head home. First stop on the way home... Dunkin Donuts for large iced coffees!!! By the time we got home, Moses figured I'd be eager to get the luggage unpacked and everything put away. He asked me what I wanted him to start working on, and I told him he could do whatever he wanted, but I was taking Max upstairs, getting our jammies on, and going to bed! I took my boy to our room so he could sleep with us, and we held each others hands as we fell asleep. I was so depressed about leaving Lili, but tried to stay focused on my wonderful son and husband and how nice it was to be back home.

Day 4 & 5 of our 1st visit trip (1/17 & 1/18)

Our fourth day in Guate was somewhat emotional... our good friends, the Melvins, were headed back to Indiana and had to give their daughter Lyza back to her foster mom Gloria. They asked Moses to translate, so we were with them when their foster mom showed up and after they handed over Lyza. It was heart-wrenching. And, while I was trying to be supportive of them, I was also fighting back my own tears at the thought of having to leave Lili in a couple of days. Madisyn (10 year old big sis), Misty (mommy) and Chris (daddy) did pretty well considering how tough it was to watch their baby leaving. Madisyn was pretty upset, but Misty was a great mom and was able to hold back her own emotion so that she could support Madisyn. After we said our goodbyes to the Melvins, we headed back to our room to spend some quality time with Lili.

The rest of the day was spent quietly in our room as a family. I caught myself several times thinking about how tough it was going to be to leave Lili. But, I was doing my best to focus on enjoying the time we had left, instead of dreading the day we would have to give her back. We had fun in the afternoon making family t-shirts... Lili's was painted with a flower (the petals were made from our fingerprints). Max's shirt had Lili's footprint and said "I am the BIG brother". Mine had Lili's footprints over my heart and said "Liliana Rose Marie - Close to my heart". Moe's had Lili's footprint on the chest and Max's footprint on the back. Underneath each footprint was the kid's name and their year of birth (Est. 2002 or Est. 2006). They turned out really cute and were not only a great activity to keep us occupied, but will also provide us with a great memento of our first visit together.

The fifth day of our trip was also spent rather quietly at the hotel. We wanted to go for a swim with the kids, but the pool heater was not working. They did turn down the heat on one of the hot tubs, so we were able to let Max splash around and got some great pictures of Lili in her stylish swimsuit from Auntie Rebecca!! I also got a great idea from Misty... Lyza's hair was so long that Misty used her nailclippers to snip a little of it to keep. I didn't think Lili would appreciate me cutting her head, so I took her to the beauty shop at the hotel and asked them to cut me a little bit of her hair... priceless treasure!!!!!

We also chose to do a fashion shoot with Lili in all of her cute little outfits... she was a real trooper and humored us for the majority of the "shoot". We got some amazing pictures of her! And Max was so cute.... after her pictures were done, he told us that we needed to take some pictures of him holding his baby! He's so in love with her!!!

The rest of these two days we strolled briefly through the mall, but otherwise just hung out in the hotel. After we watched our friends' grief and sorrow at leaving their baby, I think we were preparing ourselves for Friday when we had to leave our beautiful Lili.

Phone Call to Guatemala

I'm missing Lili. We got dumped on with snow today, so I came home early from work and picked up Max before naptime. We came home, he napped, and I sat around thinking about Lili. When Moses came home, I asked him to call Ligia and find out how Lili's doing and whether or not they've got the internet and webcam hooked up at their house.

He called and spoke with Ligia... she was very rushed, as she'd just gotten Lili out of the bath and was trying to get her dressed before dinner. She told Moses that the internet and webcam would hopefully be installed this weekend. Once they get it installed, they'll try to send us a video email so that we can see Lili. She and Moe also talked about our next visit trip the first week of March. We're going to travel together to Antigua, which should be very enjoyable. Also, she mentioned that Lili is gaining lots of weight and that we should be sure to bring bigger clothes for the next trip... she said a lot of the 0-3 month clothes that we took with us on the last trip are popping buttons and bursting at the seams! It's great to know that she's growing, but it also makes me so sad to think that I'm not there to watch her grow... I'm hoping for some progress on our case in the next couple of weeks (before we head to Guatemala) so that I can at least feel a little bit closer to bringing her home!!!!!!

Day 3 of our first visit trip (1/16)

Tuesday, our third morning in Guatemala, started with breakfast with the Melvin's. It was so nice having such wonderful people to share our time with and to get the opportunity to get to know this amazing family. After breakfast, we decided to all head out to the zoo and the handicrafts market. Chris ran to get some cash from the ATM while Moses arranged for a driver to take us to the zoo. Within minutes, a man pulled up in a taxi (they are actually employed by the hotel). The car was a small four door car that had seen better days... and did I mention it was small? Misty and I looked at each other and started to giggle and panic at the same time. We knew that the Guatemalans didn't really use car seats or seatbelts, but we were freaking out a little bit to think that 4 adults, a 10 year old, a 4 year old and two babies were all going to ride in a VERY small car. The front seat was bucket seats, and there was a small back seat. The only way we would all fit was for everyone to either be holding someone on their lap or sitting on someone's lap! Thank goodness, once Chris got back, we realized there were two cars... one for each family! That didn't completely eliminate the nervousness about the drive... considering the cars drive no particular speed limit, change lanes in the blink of an eye, and weave in and out of traffic. Thankfully, we made it to the zoo all in one piece!

We enjoyed walking around the zoo. It was actually very safe and very nice. We were a little curious to see if the animals were malnourished (like they are in Mexico). We were happy to see that they all looked well-fed and well cared for. We walked around together with the Melvin's for a couple of hours. The Melvin's were preparing to go home on Wednesday, and were starting to feel the gloom of departing and leaving Baby Lyza. They decided, since they'd been shopping in Antigua, to leave us at the handicraft market and head back to the hotel for some family time. Moses called for the driver to come back for them, then we headed to the market. It was, once again, very safe and nice. We didn't plan to do too much shopping, since we figured we'd find better deals in Antigua. However, we didn't count on how many nice things we'd find nor how inexpensive a lot of the items are. It's amazing to see how hard the Guatemalans work to make these products and they sell them for so little! They expect you to negotiate with them about the price of the goods, but we didn't negotiate much because we felt like the prices were already so reasonable! We bought a drum for Max, several local items to give to Lili in the future (traditional doll, a small purse, a bracelet, and a quilt), as well as a picture frame, a trivet, a cute bag and a small change purse. (Notice, Moses got NOTHING for himself! I was actually the big shopper of the day!)

After the market, we went back to the hotel to hang out in our room. We had dinner at one of the restaurants in the hotel called the Thai Grill. It was excellent! The food was amazing, the atmosphere and decor were very cool, and the prices were great! The food was create your own shish-kabobs and wok dishes. Max was not a happy camper and acted up for a good part of the meal, but eventually came around and enjoyed himself. Lili was a gem... she slept and hung out in her bouncy chair while we ate! Not a peep out of her!

After dinner, we ended up visiting with the Melvin's in their room so that we could show them what we bought at the market, and they could show us what they bought in Antigua. It was actually a somewhat sad evening, as we knew that our friends were leaving the next day, and (more importantly) we were very aware of the pain that they were feeling about having to leave Baby Lyza in Guatemala. In addition, the day had been the first that we began to think about how difficult it was going to be for us to leave Lili. I certainly started to shed a few tears this night, and my heart started to break and weep for our family (and especially for Lili).

My sweet and loving son!

I'm about ready to fall into bed, but just had to post this before I forget. Moses & I (and one of our dear friends Shelly) took Max to see Stars on Ice tonight. It's an iceskating show which he was VERY excited about and seemed to really enjoy. We had a priceless moment during the show, thanks to my sweetheart of a son.

One of the skaters came out to do a routine to the song by James Blunt, "You're Beautiful". Whether or not you like the song, everyone should be able to appreciate what happened next. Max was sitting on Moses' lap, and made a comment that brought tears to Moses' eyes. He told Max to tell me what he had said... my beautiful and caring little boy said "Mommy, when Lili gets home from Guatemala, I think you, me and Daddy should sing this song to her." He's such a wonderful boy with a big heart... and boy does he love his new baby sister!

Day 2 of our first trip to Guatemala (1/15)

OK, getting back to our first visit trip to Guatemala. After a long night of trying to get used to Lili's schedule, meeting her needs, and me trying to survive my bronchitis, we got up and had a nice late breakfast at the hotel. We spent the day hanging out, walked to the grocery store (which was a Super Walmart!), and getting to know Lili. The walk to the grocery store was about 4 blocks, but it was very interesting. Thank goodness we didn't have to cross the main street... we probably would have been hit! The drivers are a little on the crazy side. The sidewalks are uneven and tiny, so even walking was a bit difficult. The grocery store was just like a Super Walmart here, with some minor differences. One thing we noticed was the meat department... they do not have a butcher counter where you tell the butcher what you want. Instead, they have open air "tubs" of different meats that you can walk up to and serve yourself. You put the meat that you want into a bag, and the butcher weighs the bag. This was kind of gross, but very interesting. When we approached the produce department, I was amazed at the strong smell of fruit! It ends up they have a specialty juice counter, where they are freshly squeezing several different fruit juices! YUMMY! It was interesting walking around and seeing the different products that were available.... no diet soda (they have "light" soda, which tastes more like regular than diet), their chips are different (cheetos were puffier and doritos were SPICY!). I needed to get some cough syrup, so I ventured off by myself to find the medicine section of the store. What a difference from back home... in my normal grocery stores at home, there are usually three FULL aisles of medicines. This very large super walmart had a small (maybe 10 ft) section of one side of the aisle with medicines... not a very big selection. I didn't have a hard time picking a cough syrup... there was only one choice of cough syrups!

As day 2 progressed, we were getting more used to Lili's schedule and her personality. She was VERY easy-going. She cries when she's hungry, and that's about it. We were amazed at how alert she was for a 5-6 week old. She loved to look into our eyes and to scan the room taking everything in. Max was absolutely in love with Lili. Every so often, he'd ask where his baby was and if he could see her. Usually, that meant he wanted to kiss her and then tell us "oh, sweet girl" or "oh, pretty girl" or "oh, what a princess"! He was so cute with her!

When our friends, the Melvins, returned from Antigua, we met them in the lobby to hang out for a little while. We ended up back in our room just hanging out with them. Around 8:45, Max told us he was hungry... we'd missed dinner! Moses was going to run to the food court, but they closed at 9:00. We talked about getting room service, but we decided to try the local chicken place that everybody RAVES about, Pollo Campero. Moses went to the front desk to ask exactly where the restaurant was. They told him that, even though it was about a half block from the front door of the hotel, they would not allow him to go there by himself. Basically, American tourists are not safe in Guatemala if it's after dark. So.... Rafael, a bellman that the Melvins had used for their tour to Antigua, offered to walk Moses to the restaurant. The two of them were there and back quickly, but it was yet another look at how different our cultures are. We ate dinner, Moses & Max watched a movie (I'm sure it was Star Wars!), and Moses let Lili sleep on his shoulder. I went to bed before they did so that when Lili woke up in the night I'd have gotten some sleep and could trade off with Moses. The arrangement actually worked really well. Moses had Lili until 2 am, then I gave her a bottle and snuggled with her on the couch until she fell asleep in my arms. Then, when she woke at 5am, I gave her another bottle and took her to bed with Moses & I. This ended up being our routine while we were in Guate.

I will try to post soon with details of Day 3 of our trip!

The adoption rollercoaster... I'm on the upswing!

Well, after my last post and a couple of depressing days, we had some happy times last night that changed my mood! Moses came home early hoping that our foster family may be able to make it to the internet cafe before they closed at 6:00. If they were able to make it, they were going to call to let us know so that we could attempt to chat with them via instant messenger. We heard nothing, which of course added to my sadness. Moses & Max were doing their best to cheer me up... they stopped at the store so that Max could get me a goodie bag. I don't think I've ever seen a bigger heart shaped lollipop in my life! Needless to say, Max was very excited that it was large enough for us to share.

So, after dinner and some family time, I was getting ready for bed. I wanted to check our email account one more time to see if I'd received a response to an inquiry I sent to a hotel in Guatemala. To my surprise, I had an instant message from someone in Guatemala. Her name is Leslye and she is a friend (and neighbor) of Ligia & Angel who are fostering Lili! She spoke a little english, so I was able to speak IM with her briefly, but then I offered to get Moses to speak spanish with her. When he started talking with her, she told us that she was on the phone with Ligia, and that Ligia and Lili were on their way to her house!!!! I can't even tell you how excited we were! We spoke with Leslye until they arrived, then Leslye was able to use her digital camera to take some photos of Lili and send them to us via the IM. We were also able to test out the computer to computer "phone" calls (like I've been trying out with my parents). Because Leslye did not have a microphone on her computer, they were unable to talk live to us, but they did have speakers so they could hear Moses speaking to them. They would listen to him speak, and then they would respond by typing on the IM. We were able to talk to them for almost 20 minutes before their battery on the laptop started to die. We did make arrangements with them that we are going to send money for Ligia to get internet access at home and to purchase a web camera. That way, Ligia and Angel and their daughters can call us live on the computer at anytime from home with Lili, rather than having to go to the internet cafe!!!

Wow... it's amazing how the smallest things will uplift you during this process! I was so down about everything yesterday, but thanks to my AMAZING husband, my sensitive son, and my two best girlfriends at work (Rebecca & Patty), I was able to get through the day. And thanks to the prayers that I offered up all weekend and all day yesterday, we were able to communicate with Lili!!!